A friend made an observation the other day that I don’t have an issue with dating, I have an issue with intimacy. I scoffed at that statement but a few days later, when I found my mind wandering back to her words, I started worrying that her statement made more sense than I’d care to think.

I questioned myself because all of my relationships have been long distance. With any of my ex’s, they all had a similar pattern of either leaving for sets amount of time to places I could never reach them or they were preparing to leave and return to the place miles away that they were actually from.

I began to worry that my inability to be around someone for an extended period of time meant I was doomed to ever create a stable, loving relationship. I pictured, in the not so distant future, afghans made of cat hair covering every inch of my small apartment as I perused the internet for a man from far, far away.

Then I woke up.

No, that will not be my life. I realized instead that I truly enjoy the space in between visits from the person who makes my heart feel like it could beat right out of my chest. I like that my life doesn’t have to always center around one person. I like that I can be with someone who completes me, even without having to reach out and touch them. I like that I’m the type of woman who can give trust from a distance, and I like how being away from that person makes me love them even more.

So I don’t think I have an intimacy problem, because I believe that intimacy grows from much more than touches in the dark or sweaty palms being pressed together. I believe that my best form of true intimacy comes from the simple excitement of loving someone who doesn’t always have to be there to make me remember that feeling.

So my friend’s words, that were only meant in kindness, made me realize that good-byes are  truly my favorite way to say I love you.