Oooooh technology these days. I’m not very old and I still remember making collect phone calls to my mom on the pay phone at school. I never fully put it through, just instead of saying my name I’d quickly shout out, “Come pick me up!” She always seemed to get the message. I got my first cell phone when I was sixteen and even then I didn’t start this whole texting fad until I was nineteen.

So I’ve been thinking a lot about this because as much as I hate to admit it, technology plays a much bigger role in my dating lifestyle than it did even when I was still in high school. Things like, I will never be set up on a legit ‘blind date’ because I will always be able to FB stalk him and if he doesn’t have an account than he’s a freak and obviously I will never want to meet him. There is also the good chance that I will break up or be broken up with by text message. Harsh? Yes, but an unfortunate and possible reality.

Texting and dating don’t always work well together, especially for me. I am the type of person who will want to talk to someone solely through text messages as a way of getting to know them, this way I can gauge how good they are at this form of communication and if they can interest me through that then they must be cool enough to meet in person. This theory is so very flawed and I know it. I am obviously just using it as a buffer so I don’t have to ever be put in an uncomfortable position, and it’s clearly not fair to the person who sucks at texting but has an awesome personality. I only followed through on my first date with my ex because I was convinced he had amazing texting skills, this turned out to not be the greatest decision of my life.

Yet, I still do it.

In my texting experiences I’ve come across a couple different types of guys:

1. The Skeeze. Clearly this guy only wants one thing and that is to be my future baby daddy. He doesn’t even attempt to hide it. He’s the one who will sometimes begin by asking about my day but really just try to keep steering the conversation toward my looks and various body parts. I in turn, try to keep steering things back toward actual conversations in hopes that he’s just being complimentary. Then usually, in the very next text, he will say something about licking something off me. (Well, that escalated quickly.) This is where I stop the interaction and promptly delete him from my contacts. It’s sad but this seems to be the majority of guys who try to talk to me, maybe I need to stop ‘working what my Mama gave me?’ (Which is child bearing hips and oblivion to most of my surroundings.)

2. The Lullaby Guy. Simply put, he usually has me falling asleep. He is the type that literally has the most boring topics ever, I mean how many times can we discuss how much mud season sucks? Or maybe his stories are just that boring, it has been known to happen. It’s very rare that I don’t text someone back, I like having the last word, but there have been a few texter mates who I have completely lost interest in even responding to. This is a sad day when that happens, I don’t have much hope for someone who can’t keep a conversation going through messages, which is horribly unfair because I have known many people who can’t hold interesting banter through the phone but are the most exciting people to be around in real life. (This is proven through one of my greatest friends, Stuart, who only recently started texting with his phone but leads the most adventurous lifestyle.)

3. The Invisible Man. Seems kind of obvious right? This one I will hear from with a quick ‘Hey,’ sometimes followed by an obligatory question but then he’s gone. Hours, days even will go by before I hear from him again. WTF. Did your thumbs get crushed suddenly? I will never understand someone who starts a conversation but then loses interest after two words. (Maybe in those situations I’m the Lullaby Girl?)

Again, I know that I put too much stock into this and it’s completely unfair, so please try not to get too offended by all of this. I’m far from perfect and know that, but as someone who lives for words and tries to always be able to hold eloquent conversation through a keyboard (Tries!) I find it frustrating when I can’t find someone else who does the same. I’m not looking for long, drawn out messages, I just want one person who can make me laugh, or get me to think about something in a different way. I appreciate all of that and I know I’m not always at the top of my game. I’m sure I’ve been all of those aforementioned texters, in girl form, at some time or another.

In reality I’m the one with the problem. I should probably ditch my phone and try to start to have normal face to face conversations again, no matter how awkward or excruciating they could be. But then, what would I have to whine about?

Please feel free to share your unfair gripes about dating so I don’t feel so alone.