Navigating through this single life as a 25 year old…woman? Girl? I’ll just say Wirl because I still feel like a teenage girl inside a woman’s body most days. Anyway, this can be very difficult I’m finding. There are some tricks that have been helpful so far so I thought I might try to share some of my new found knowledge with the rest of you ladies.

Also, this Wirl age that I’m referring to could really be any female from the ages of 18 to 72, because everyone knows that if you aren’t a woman by 73 then…well then you’re dead.

The first piece of advice I have may seem trivial but it’s actually pretty essential to getting through your single life. Let’s say you’re having a good day and by good day I mean a good day. You’re wearing a shirt that doesn’t have a stain on it, your hair is doing what you want it to for once and you swear your body has actually lost 10 lbs since that morning (and mostly in the face and stomach, double score!).

When this happens pull out your phone, or camera (this advice does not work for those still using developing film) and take a picture. Do this in the privacy of your own home with good lighting or if you prefer (and you’re a vain type of bitch) do it in the middle of a crowd. Then save it. That’s it, don’t touch it and don’t send it anywhere just keep it locked away for safe keeping.

So now you’re thinking I’m crazy and also a vain bitch. Bare with me, it gets better, you’re now starting a picture bank! (I realize I just sound crazier.) This bank is obviously for the nights when you’re sitting in bed in your grungiest of grungy comfy clothes and you haven’t showered in three days because life got ‘busy’. That will be the night when suddenly, out of the blue, that guy you have been crushing on for months? You know, the one with the shy smile and obscenities tattooed to his knuckles, who works at the bookstore and finally got the nerve to ask you for your number two weeks ago when you cornered him about where the Holocaust books were kept, well he decides now is the ideal time to start chatting. Eventually during your witty text conversation about the street lights in town and how he only works part-time so he’s not held down by ‘the man’ he will ask ‘…for a pic of your beautiful face’. (because this is the most popular line among guys trying to get anywhere.)

Of course, you will want to give in to his request, because like it was mentioned before, he has avoided you just long enough to make you think the two of you are falling in love and raising 5 children together in a renovated Victorian home and I mean really, he was classy enough to only ask for a face shot. (I hear wedding bells!)

Instead of panicking in this situation and trying to get all the chip crumbs out of your mangled hair so you can get one semi decent shot in the dark you will suddenly remember that picture you took weeks ago on that one really good day you had and you’ll be able to quickly send it over without even having to make yourself smell better. Don’t forget to add with it a message that says something nonchalant like, ‘Just got done working out, sorry if I look like a mess.’

So with that, the game will continue on all because you had the insight and vanity to save your photo. You’re welcome.

Next week I’ll offer advice about how driving by a guys work or home multiple times isn’t really stalking but more ‘caring’.